Steps backward

I'm here at a cafe with a friend studying, and I decided to take a little break and blog. I believe it's been a few days since I've blogged...or at least that's what it feels like. 

Meditation: My sessions haven't been going very well. They were going really well until Friday and Saturday. I think when I lost my cool with my friend and got angry I lost confidence in it. Saturday I barely got a chance to meditate because of clinical. I'm still meditating everyday, but it might just as well be sleeping :( 

Reading: I need to read more. I've been sleeping and watching TV too much on my free time again. Got to get back.

Gym: The exhaustion from clinical is leaking into the next day. I can't believe it takes me a full day to recover & it's preventing me from goign to the gym as regularly as I would like. How am I going to get anything done in the future? I need to make it a rule to go to the gym at least 4 times per week. I think that's fair. Last week I went twice, but I could've gone 6/7 days if I really tried. I think I'll make it a habit on days where my morning are free to go in the morning. Then eat a good breakfast, and then meditate. I'll start tomorrow. I'm thinking about changing my routine to full body instead of doing upper & lower. This way, I can work out three times a week and not feel so bad. 

I feel like I'm missing X a lot more, and I keep thinking about him. Something that's gotten quite bad today. I really need to focus on growing more. I think my focus shifted a bit. 

I need to change my schedule so that I'll sleep earlier and wake up earlier. This will make my clinical easier. I also need to work on not taking naps. It's really disrupting my schedule. 

It feels like I took a couple steps backwards, but I just need to refocus and reorient myself. I'll just think of it as a reset.