Here I am blogging in class because this class is so boring :( 

I feel like I've taken some steps backwards in the things that I've worked for. I need to re-focus myself and get back on track. I haven't been able to have a long mediation session in awhile. I've been too tired so my session have only been like 5-10 minutes long. I think tonight I'm going to have to try a longer session. 

This was supposed to be a fun weekend. Meeting with him last weekend was a mistake. It makes him not want to want to see me this weekend. He just wants to work on his own personal projects, and he said he wants more personal time. I'm so upset because this all sounds like the same exact excuse over and over again. It's totally possible to spend this time together, but he refuses to do so. I mean, my friend's bf from san francisco flew in just for this weekend. I'm not even looking for a grand gesture. All he had to do was show up because I had some plans already. 

Maybe this is just me whining about something really trivial, but I was really looking forward to tomorrow. I'm disappointed in him for not following through again. I'm disappointed in myself for thinking that he would follow through when looking back he does this all the time. I am really close to feeling like ending this because I deserve so much more. I deserve to be able to take a break once in awhile and have someone else spoil me a little bit. I really do.